Augusten Burroughs is at Barnes & Noble, 1441 W. Webster. Tuesday, June 10, 7:30 p.m.; reading, Q&A, signing.—————————————-He’s been officially knighted as the literary scene’s ‘New Mad-Hatter,’ according to Book magazine’s second annual ‘Newcomers Issue’—a title Augusten Burroughs readily accepts with a wink-and-a-nudge and a fresh piece of nicorette gum.’I think we needed a new one,’ he says. ‘It’s better to be the new Mad-Hatter than the old-glue-horse-Mad-Hatter, eh?’With the publication of Running With Scissors last year, Burroughs’ ‘bestselling memoir of madness,’ the author revealed the true story of how he was given away by his mother as a young boy to be raised by a charismatic, unorthodox psychiatrist and his family—who consumed Valium like candy, and whose children played with an old electroshock therapy machine as if it were an Easy-Bake oven.’People tend to think that because I was raised in that environment that I might not be normal, that I might be a loose cannon or maybe I still eat dog food or something,’ said the author with a good-natured chuckle.’I’m quite clean-cut, actually. I mean, I look like an podiatrist or something, I think. I find that those who are raised in extreme environments tend to be very traditional, like myself, OR they can turn into complete freaks.’Actually, Burroughs wasn’t always your typically clean-cut, podiatrist-looking, openly gay man living in New York City. His new memoir, Dry, details his life as a highly successful advertising executive with a penchant for drinking himself into a series of blackouts, that eventually fade into the jarringly bright reality of a gay-friendly rehab center—not unlike the ‘Pride Institute’ advertised in most gay and lesbian news weeklies.’Dry has a lot more introspection than Running with Scissors because when I was a kid, I took great pains to NOT feel anything. And this caught up with me later in life, as you’ll see in the new book. When I got sober, I was mortified by the ‘recovery community’ and how un-fun it was, how filled with ‘reclaiming’ and ‘closure’ it was. With Dry, I also want to show people that just because you stop drinking does not mean you stop being crazy and funny,’ he said, chomping away on nicorette gum, perhaps his one lingering ‘addiction.’ (He hasn’t been a smoker for some time now.)Burroughs says he is well-aware of the alarmingly high rates of alcohol and drug addiction that continue to haunt gays and lesbians, especially among circuit boys.’I don’t go to circuit parties and I’m not a bar person anymore, but … I know what it’s like to have to close Odeon at 4 a.m. every Saturday. At first, I made a very conscious effort to never become THAT KIND of alcoholic. I was very high functioning. I used to say to myself, maybe I drink like a fish, but I CAN HANDLE IT. Then I literally, literally woke up one day and I WAS one of those people. Being an alcoholic is not about having fun, it’s not a social lubricant to meet people. It’s about being trapped behind a slammed-shut door and being alone, because you are hiding your addiction, you are miserable and alone. It’s no longer fun. But you can’t lecture someone into quitting. Believe me, I wouldn’t have recovered if I hadn’t had to.’Dry: A Memoir, which was actually written before Running With Scissors, is the product of Burroughs journals written during his tenure in rehab.’I suddenly had all this time on my hands after rehab, time that I used to spend in bars. And I didn’t know what to do with myself (or my hands), so I wrote constantly for hours and hours each day. I didn’t write Dry with the thought that it would ever be published—or even read for that matter. I wrote it to navigate through my new sober life.’Burroughs’ new sober life includes Dennis Pilsits, his boyfriend of four years who he met online, a new sex column for Details magazine (‘I write about men’s body’s, body image, dick size, urinal etiquette’) and dealing with his cult-following of readers and fans (he does get recognized on the street.)’I’ve heard from all walks of life, gay, straight, everyday people and famous people and they always say that Running With Scissors always makes them feel good about themselves and their own experiences, which is incredible to hear,’ said Burroughs, who politely demurs when pressed to reveal details on some of his more ‘famous’ fans—except when it comes to Julianne Moore.Moore (The Hours, Far From Heaven) has signed on to play Burroughs’ mother (a poet, ‘with delusions of Anne Sexton’) in the film adaptation of Running with Scissors.Moore is the ideal person to portray ‘Deirdre,’ according to the author, ‘because her face is like tissue paper: It has the ability to crumple up … and show such depth of emotion. One look from her can convey four pages of written text.’ The film, scheduled to go into production later this year, will be directed by Ryan Murphy, the creator of the WB series, Popular.While Burroughs has no direct input into the film, Murphy has been consulting the author on casting selections of the psychiatrist: Christopher Walken, Ben Kingsley and Michael Caine have all expressed interest.’Based on Ryan Murphy’s personality and based on the fact that he just ‘got’ who my mother was, I am confident that the film will be true to the book. This is my life and my work and I wouldn’t let this become some hideous, tacky thing on the screen … my Waterworld or something!’
For now, it’s Dry: A Memoir that will be making the big splash, with Burroughs trademark wry and raw sense of humor, pitch-perfect comedic timing, and balls-out honesty, the book feels like a natural follow-up to Running With Scissors.
‘It’s a fun story, and hysterically funny, I think,’ offers Burroughs, who says he writes every day, all day long. ‘And anyone who doesn’t cry gets a full refund.’
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About Augusten
— Augusten is the 18th grandson of King James the Second of Scotland. ‘Not that this has done any good in his life.’ (See: Running with Scissors, ‘Dry).
— He was a child actor in a Tan Instant Breakfast Drink Commercial. It was a small role and did not, as he had expected, lead to a slot on The Brady Bunch or his own variety show opposite Carol Burnett.
— At 17, he passed his GED ane enrolled in college as a pre-med student. At 17-1³2 he dropped out of college to become a waiter. At 19, he moved to San Francisco and became and advertising copywriter. Since then he’s created ‘some famous, not famous, and mortifying ads’ for some of the best-known brands in the world including American Express, AT&T, Beck’s Beer, Burger King and UPS.
— The cover designs for both books were his ’emergency covers’: images that he found and located on his own in case he didn’t like what the publisher picked out.
— A full time writer he has ‘no hobbies, skills or interests other than writing about himself.’ His next book, Magical Thinking, is a collection of true stories centering around the delusion that the author can ‘control the world with my mind.’
— He lives in Manhattan and Western Massachusetts with his much, much, much better half: Dennis.
