As if there wasn’t enough out there already to help us guys pop a boner, including Matt Sizemore, Viagra, Steamworks, vacuum pumps, latex dildoes, Brian-Mark’s mouth, and the song stylings of Henry Rollins, the FDA has come along and approved a new drug that promises to be even better than Viagra. That’s right folks, Levitra is on the scene.
What makes Levitra better than Viagra? Putting aside the fact that both promise a hard-on in a pill, Levitra takes effect quicker than Viagra, in fewer than 20 minutes for some men. Twenty minutes? Hell, I’ve known guys that take that long to unwrap a Magnum wrapper. With Viagra, there’s often a wait of an hour. But the time benefits of Levitra continue. Levitra’s benefits last longer, often more than an hour longer than Viagra’s four-hour benchmark.
This is good news for men suffering from erectile dysfunction, because it means they can get down quicker and last longer. Five or six hours should be adequate for most, save those queens who are addled with their little friend we call Tina. Which brings me to my next point, one the FDA doesn’t think about, but a point that will certainly be embraced by those on the circuit party line. See, doctors and the like look at Viagra, and now Levitra, as mother’s little helper for guys who can’t get or maintain a steel rod. But the circuit party boys, tina queens, cokeheads, and their ilk see it as a way to party on, dude, without the baleful side effects of some of the aforementioned party favors. Is this good news? Or bad? No one talks about popping a little blue pill (what color is Levitra? Clue me in if you know) to accompany a snort of something that makes you talk (and fuck) a lot. Maybe this will lead to more tops at the next drug-fueled orgy venue. But we still don’t know what mixing these new drugs with older ones will result in. Could a heart beating hard from chemicals and the nine-inch dick in front of you be pushed to the limit by popping a pill? Dunno. We do know poppers are a no-no with Viagra. What about Levitra? Will it be a better accompaniment to such things than Viagra? Is this a benefit the FDA isn’t touting?
The only way to find out, I suppose, is through experimentation. Oh sure, you can ask your hip gay doctor, the one who just got back from Southern Decadence, but even the hippest of MDs, I’ll bet, will tell you to err on the side of caution, even if they don’t follow their own advice. So, listen to your doc and you’re not going to be mixing Viagra or Levitra with the stuff you get from the guy behind your favorite bar. But if you do decide to experiment with mixing and matching, good luck to you. Just remember where mixing got Ms. Joplin, Mr. Hendrix, and Mr. Belushi, not to mention scores of other famous and not-so-famous guys and gals.
E-mail me at jimmyfels@yahoo.com.