To the average person, I suspect I look perfectly healthy. But the truth of the matter is that I suffer from a life-sucking condition known as Bush-Born Dysphoria, a condition I share with 48 percent of Americans—and untold millions around the globe. Most of us look normal. We lead our lives like everyone else, brushing our teeth, going to work, ordering a grande half-decaf easy vanilla caramel macchiato, extra foam, shopping for cereal in boxes the size of small pieces of luggage at Costco. But lurking beneath the surface is the fear that your grasp on reality is about as secure as Janet Jackson’s bra strap.
Anything can bring on a bout of BBD. But for me, it’s most often reading The New York Times, which has the nasty habit of reporting ALL the facts. I often experience, as a result, what feels like a form of dementia. Take, for instance, Jan. 13, when columnist Frank Rich wrote about Cheney criticizing the press for its coverage of Halliburton, which he denounced for passing itself off as objective when, he claims, it is not. These statements were made in December 2003 in an interview with Armstrong Williams—the very man that the Bush administration’s Department of Education paid to talk up their ill-conceived No Child Left Behind plan. Why, I wonder, is none of this a huge scandal? Why isn’t Bush being impeached? Maybe I’m having delusions of candor.
And did someone say ‘bipolar’? You can’t have two any more diametrically opposed things than the ‘tens of millions of dollars [that] were spent on fireworks, cocktail receptions, gala dinners and sumptuous balls’ for Bush’s inaugural celebration (Bob Herbert, NYT, 1/21/05) and Bush’s chintzy offer of aid to victims of the tsunami, not to mention the hundreds of thousands who died there. But apparently Bush and his adoring minions, lackeys, and gullible followers are much better at fitting the square peg into the round hole than I am and don’t see anything amiss here at all. Forget about manic: I’m just depressed.
Or consider the fact that Bush’s right-wing cronies are worrying about the ill effects of SpongeBob on our children. If no one else thinks it’s crazy that people can have as their top priority the possible effects of a cartoon when, according to the Associated Press, 10,252 U.S. troops have been wounded since the start of the war in March 2003 and 1,335 have died, then I must be the crazy one.
Like all crazy people, I decided to do something crazy: in the face of the lies, hatred, and reckless and immoral behavior of the White House and its supporters, I am doing something positive. I have made arrangements with the filmmakers to show, to several dozen of our family and friends, the documentary (not yet out on DVD) Tying the Knot, which makes devastatingly clear why the issue of marriage is more than just ceremony, more than queers imitating heteros. It’s not that any of those on the invitation list aren’t supportive of Kathy and I—it’s just that I don’t think all of them fully grasp the ramifications of denying this legal arrangement to gays.
Granted, showing this movie is not going to change the world. It’s not even going to make Bush more accountable, responsible, or truthful. But at least I’m doing something. At least, I tell myself, I am taking some responsibility for my own future. Because with any luck, my movie matinee—plus all of the things big and small that my fellow 48 percent of Americans are doing—will change enough minds to make it clear to Bush just exactly what he can do (which, if I understand correctly, is now legal—at least so far—in every state) with his constitutional amendment to ‘protect’ the institution of marriage.
I’ve been wracking my brain for an act of civil disobedience I can undertake to try to call attention to the works of that madcap madman who is our president. For now, with my friendly gathering of movie goers, I’m just focusing on the civil, I guess—but believe me, I’ll get to disobedience eventually!
© 2005 by Yvonne Zipter. E-mail yvonne@yvonnezipter.com or see her Web site at www.yvonnezipter.com.