the gift that keeps on fattening
Each month, an artisan bacon is delivered right to their doorstep. Which is key. Because after several months of eating pre-paid bacon, they will no longer be able to get to the grocery store under their own power. Give the timeless gift of obesity. Mmm, tastes like America. $140, plus shipping www.gratefulpalate.com, (888) 472-5283
Carnivorous-Plant-of-the-month Club
the gift that keeps on digesting
Sublimate your overwhelming bloodlust—the botanical way! A new meat-eating flower will arrive monthly. You have your choice of domestics or tropicals. Our bet is that the tropicals can eat bigger things. Ergo, much cooler. $263.40 per year, plus shipping www.cobraplant.com/carnivorous-plant-club.html
Unfortunate-Animal-of-the-month Club
Nightmares come to life, and to your mailbox as each month brings a different dreadful plush creation. You can choose the type (bunnies, bears, etc), the deformity (2 heads, one body, alien, chickenshanks, frankencritter) and the morbidity rating (one skull=slightly twisted, five skulls=sick). Unsettling… yet strangely compelling.
the gift that keeps on disturbing
Unfortunate-Animal-of-the-month Club