As a sex-lovin’, 40-year-old gay poz man, I am pissed, nay, outraged at a market that just hasn’t delivered for me and my peeps. We are going on 25 mutha fleckin’ years with this crazy AIDS thing and still, STILL we have three, THREE lousy ways (count ’em – A, B, and C) to protect ourselves and our partners from HIV infection. And we are to blame.
We can walk over to the Staraboo—one per corner—and order a double-cupped half-caf mocha maraschino latte with sprinkles and two stinkin’ Splendas and our normally demanding asses are content with Abstinence (yeah, right), Being Faithful (until tomorrow) and Condoms? Five hundred kinds of coffee drinks, scores of exercises to work those abs, more martinis than you can shake in one of ten million reality shows and we are okay with THREE (okay, really ONE) effective way to keep this god awful virus out of our bodies? Why haven’t we asked for more? Now, condoms are damn good at protecting and preserving your viral virginity, but only if you use them consistently and correctly each and every time a friend comes knocking. And a lot of the gays—hello Mary, Sally and Sue—aint doin’ neither no way, no how. Some studies show that nearly 50% of gay men aren’t using condoms when they get their booties banged.
Mercy! We can shake our giant, judging fingers at the sky and each other; we can faint in a puddle of desperate tears; we can shout atrocities at one another, but ya know what? A lot of guys ain’t using condoms for a whole lot of reasons—ranging from valid to bullshit—and all our pearl clutching hissy fits ain’t gonna change none of it. We have to demand more from a consumer market that has produced Paris Hilton, Cheetos and AquaNet. That’s US—the gays—each with enough nipply tank tops in our armoires to clothe Bangladesh.
I have two words – Booty Butter. Officially known as rectal microbicides, these anti-HIV products currently being researched might be formulated into lubricants or booty enemas and could therefore supply some level of protection the next time you dip, or get dipped, without latex enhancement. We gotta demand more than the ABCs! We need to be able to pick up a gallon of Booty Butter the next time we’re harness or Hummel shopping. Learn more at www.lifelube.org.