Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: Happy IML! I like to review leather this month to celebrate.
Ghost: Oh good, the pictures have names to go with them on the back.
P: The front cover looks good too.
G: One guy is named Steve Trevor. Wonder Woman’s boyfriend does porn?
Two men in a blue-lit room, dressed in leather gear.
P: Well, we are getting right down to business.
G: No wasting time here.
P: Is that a whale tattoo?
G: A humpback whale named Spike.
P: Oh yeah, the name is below it.
G: I don’t like the way he kisses.
P: He just punched him.
G: I don’t get the turn on of that.
P: I had someone do that before and I was not into it.
G: That was a needless transition. They just switched camera angles for no reason.
P: He has a sweaty butt and a big one.
G: Now we are moving on to boot licking.
P: If you can’t lick ’em, join ’em.
G: He’s unshaven.
P: Very unshaven.
G: I could get lost in that forest.
P: He just spit on his dick.
G: I don’t get that either.
P: Different strokes for different folks.
G: Speaking of different strokes, I think that’s a rim chair.
P: I wonder if you can get that at Ikea.
G: He is riding that rim chair now.
P: Those noises he is making are not human.
Next we view two muscle men in a black-curtained room with a rubber floor and suits to match.
G: Nice rubber singlets.
P: That rubber floor could be dangerous.
G: They are wrestling and sliding all over the place.
P: ‘Just what makes that little ol’ ant think he can move a rubber tree plant.’
G: This is fairly hot.
P: Yeah, something different.
G: They should have events like that all over the city.
P: Well, Hydrate has a wrestling night like that and I am sure the leather bars do. My friend won the rubber man contest one time.
G: Do tell…
P: One of them is laughing.
G: He is having a good time. This would be fun to try.
P: I liked the cum shot.
G: He’s rubbing it into the rubber.
P: And he just ate it. Just slid right off the suit!
G: No muss, no fuss.
Slipping into our next scene, we have a three way.
G: Nice, one of them is blindfolded.
P: They are on a jungle gym.
G: Yay, they are using toys.
P: I never used one of those. What is it called?
G: Balls. It is a balls dildo.
P: He just got them all to fit inside him.
G: Is that a different guy getting fucked?
P: They need to show his face.
G: Yes, they have done some role switching.
We get three for the price of one when this 3-way follows another 3-way.
P: They are going to shave his head.
G: He’s moaning in ecstasy.
P: It’s because he’s getting his dick sucked at the same time.
G: Wild.
P: I haven’t seen anything like this before.
G: He looks good with a shaved head.
P: Hair is going to be everywhere.
G: Itchy.
P: I like the middle guy on the train.
G: I like all three.
P: I liked the video.
G: Not too long, not too short.
P: It moved along quickly.
G: Yeah, but why were they not pushing the limits more. I wanted controversy.
P: It is called Limits, but kinda limited.
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
G: Thumbs up the butt.
To purchase this video go to falconstudios.com.
To read past articles of Pubert go to windycitytimes.com.