Pubert: Looks twinkie.
Groeper: This has potential.
P: I picked this video to continue the summer theme before it’s over.
Our video begins with boys frolicking on the beach.
P: We’re in the OC.
G: I feel dirty watching these boyz. Doesn’t mean I am going to stop looking or anything.
P: Some guys shouldn’t dye their hair.
G: The beach is deserted.
P: Must be filming in the winter.
Two boys hit the sheets.
P: They are going to sleep. Must be tired. Is that Grandma’s blanket on the bed?
G: It’s uglier than mine. That reminds me, I need a new one.
P: The one kid is seducing the other while he is sleeping.
G: Pulling down the back of his underwear, dirty boi.
P: Talk about a pajama party.
G: Does anyone really pull their penis out through the front of their boxers?
P: I used to. I don’t really wear boxers much now.
G: He’s got monkeys on his underwear.
P: So cute.
G: The one guy is waking up.
P: No, he’s just stirring a little.
G: No sound on this scene. Real quiet.
P: He just jerked off to his friend sleeping.
G: Very boyhood fantasy.
P: And now Sleeping Beauty is awakening.
G: While the other boy is in the bathroom, the sleeper is having some private time.
P: He’s using his friend’s underwear to masturbate with.
G: He looked better when he was asleep.
Two studs hanging on a balcony.
P: They are kinda sexy.
G: Look like surfer dudes.
P: One is sunburned to hell.
G: Are people still wearing puka shell necklaces?
P: He has a hole in his penis where the piercing was.
G: No music again.
P: It’s kinda creepy, it’s so quiet.
G: What? No penetration?
P: No, it just cut to them jacking off.
G: What a let down.
Three buds grilling outside …
G: The director must love feet.
P: Yeah, he keeps focusing on them. Or maybe it’s just the cameraman.
G: He just bit his friend’s weenie.
P: Is it okay to eat that raw?
G: Some don’t think so.
P: Oh, the big raw debate. Here we go…
G: He’s too young to be drinking.
P: Well, he has to be 18 to be in the video. Maybe the drinking age is lower where they are.
G: The beach looked like it was in California.
P: Are you gonna call the cops?
G: LAPD, baby!
P: Let’s move on to a three way on the kitchen table–time for dessert.
G: Decent cumshots.
P: This video is very slowly paced.
G: Almost methodical.
Two bad hair surfers hang ten at home.
P: Long hair on one and burnt sienna on the other.
G: Too much time in the sun, I guess.
P: It’s definitely fried.
G: If the other one cut his hair, he would be cuter.
P: Those white sheets are asking for trouble.
Last scene has cute boys on a rug.
P: There is no way those twinks could afford a house like that.
G: I think it’s a hotel.
P: Oh. Well, there’s no way those twinks could afford a hotel that like that.
G: True dat. The behind the scenes features are much hotter than the video.
P: Yeah, this video has some good ideas.
G: It needs tightening.
P: In many ways, but they are young. Can only get better with time.
G: Well, it’s called Junior Division, not Senior Division.
P: Haha.
Pubert: Marginal thumbs down the throat.
Groeper: Marginal thumbs up the butt.
Before the summer heat cuts out purchase Junios Division at www.boyride .com
To read past articles go to windycitytimes.com and type in ‘pubert.’