From the ‘Which-Madonna?’ file, one really, really tried not to comment on Ricky Martin (as reported in the Chicago Tribune, Aug. 21) and his twins ‘via a surrogate mother.’ This is all very confusing. Were the eggs not the surrogate mother’s? Well, then, whose (and one might add, why) ? Everyone assumes R.M. didn’t do it the regular het way (perhaps a glittery gold turkey baster?) so what is the point of all this: emulating Madonna the rocker’s adoption (s) or, better yet, emulating the first Madonna and her virgin birth? C’mon Ricky: If Michael Jackson could do it, surely you could’ve risen to the occasion.
Rocker-Madonna pops up in a tidbit from the ‘Etymological’ file (translation: word origins) in the Chicago Tribune (Aug. 24). The word is ‘faux-mosexual’ which is a ‘phrase coined to describe someone who either pretends to be or actually is involved in a same-sex relationship seemingly just for attention,’ as in the Madonna/Britney Spears kiss or the whole Lindsay Lohan/Samantha Ronson hoo-ha. One can observe a similar phenomenon in American high schools among teenage girls who run in pairs, kiss, hold hands and refer to each other as ‘more than girlfriends’ but who still date boys.
The Chicago Tribune (Aug. 6) has a little throwaway item for the ‘Name-Says-It-All’ file: HBO has commisioned (?), established (?), ah, allowed a new show starring (admittedly hot) Thomas Jane as a high school basket ball coach who decides to accentuate his positive attributes. The series is called ‘Hung’ and, yeah, that’s what it’s about. Wonder if his players are witnesses as to how well he’s qualified for the part.
From the ‘It-Just-Won’t-Go-Away’ file—in this case, a subset from the ‘Scholars-Who-Never-Did-Historical-Research’ folder—a quote from the Chicago Tribune (Aug. 25) from Frank Schubert, co-manager of a campaign to repeal gay marriage in California: ‘They want people to feel like you are a bad person if you support what has been the definition of marriage since the dawn of time.’ Except for Solomon’s many wives and concubines (a secondary form of marriage), women in Tibet who could have multiple husbands, Islam’s allowance of four wives, marriages of men to men in medieval Slavic monasteries, the marriage of nuns to Jesus … one could go on.
From the ‘It’ll-Make-You-Laugh-It’ll-Make-You-Cry’ file, The New York Times (Aug. 24) has an essay in its Modern Love column called ‘We’ll Marry Each Other as Often as Needed.’ The writer, Bob Morris, first declines his male partner’s request to go to California to be married but changes his mind after seeing the Sex and the City movie (Whoa: chick flicks as redemption). Along with the joys of marriage (they’re actual), he discovers an interesting new hobby of some gays and lesbians: getting married wherever they can, multiple times. ‘And if the laws change, we’ll just keep getting married wherever we have to until we’re absolutely married for good.’