Pubert: This might be the most clothes our models have ever worn on a cover before.
Groeper: Yeah, usually body parts have to be censored with a popcorn box!
P: The back cover is a plethora or porn stars.
G: Including Big Brother star Steven Daigle and hunky Adam Killian.
P: Don’t forget my pal’s favorite Arpad Miklos.
* * * *
Two men meet in the park then go to a nearby office to meat some more.
G: Adam has his boxers wide open for him already.
P: The other one is wearing Armani Emporium.
G: Very high class.
P: So is that silk suit.
G: Killian is shaved down to the bone.
P: Adam is such a spitter. He’s spitting on Calvin’s pierced nips.
G: Nipples and bits!
P: Calvin Knight looks better in the dark.
G: Yes, not the looker, but a pig nonetheless.
P: This is a video for people that like to keep their clothes on during sex.
G: Or at least part of them.
P: There is a whole fetish that goes along with suits.
G: The businessman fantasy would be more realistic if they didn’t have tattoos everywhere.
P: Can you imagine how much it would cost to remove a porn star’s tattoos?
G: They would have to make a lot of movies to pay for it.
P: That Adam is a pro. His hole has a whole language to itself.
G: What’s is it saying?
P: “I was born this way.”
G: I think his stocking garters are hot.
P: He’s jiggling that ass like a Beyonce backup dancer.
G: Uh oh, it’s black-sock-sucking-toes time.
P: Killian’s booty is killing me!
G: Knight is fucking the day out of Adam’s ass.
P: The sex is almost anticlimactic after all the warm up.
G: It is a nice versatile scene but getting there was more than half the fun.
P: He just shoved a sock in his mouth.
G: Then he filled it with something creamy.
Two gentlemen flirt at the magazine stand then turn to a new page at an apartment around the corner.
P: These guys are not the verbal ones from the last scene.
G: They are into the open-fly suck job.
P: I am seeing a theme here with the black leather couch.
G: Was that a horn tooting outside or his ass?
P: Beep beep, yeah, toot toot!
G: Wait, they are getting louder with the hot talk now.
P: He just said, “I am gonna fuck you stupid!”
G: Maybe he was calling him “Stupid!”
P: I think he meant he was going fuck him so hard that he would lose brain cells.
G: Chew on that tie, guy!
P: Magnum’s gun only shot a little squirt.
G: Jeremy just jizzed on his expensive silk tie!
Arpad Miklos makes a bootie call to Steven Daigle on the streets of Times Square.
P: Arpad has a job to do with this scene.
G: Poor little Steven better not get in his way.
P: This is how I imagine Ryan Seacrest would be if he was being plowed by Simon Cowell.
G: Yeah, in rich suits and a cushy office.
P: Steven is definitely singing a solo at the top of his lungs.
G: He just hit a high note. Watch out American Idol!
P: The rest of the film basically follows the same formula.
G: Michael Lucas puts a lot of time, money and style into his movies.
P: And thanks for sending me the chocolate, Lucas. It gives us something to snack on when we review!!!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.
For more adult pleasure visit lucasentertainment.com.