The very weird face I make sometimes while singing, on display here at Stonewall Inn. Photo by Craig Goldsmith

Another one from the archives! Check out this excerpt from my column in the October 5, 2004 issue of Nightspots Magazine.

As I mentioned in last week’s missive, I have just returned from a mini-mini-mini-sabbatical in Michigan on the banks of Armiss Brook. I climbed trees, I stoked fires, I forgot what it was to be the stressed out little monster I can be from time to time. A hardy thank you to Jim, for providing the roof over my head. Luckily, Nightspots was still all over the city to bring you the what’s what!

Bucks really did an amazing job this year with their carnival. At final count, Dad told me that they had raised well over $5,000 for DirectAid. This surpasses last year’s numbers by at least $1,500. We’d all be a bit better off in life with folks like the Bucks boys and girls on our side!

Had a great conversation with Tim at Clark’s about a great conversation about a great conversation… better than any blow job, eh? Well, most blow jobs.

Tom at Scot’s has promised me an invite to his place in So. Michigan to hang with the boys. Whatever will you all do with me in those deep, dank woods? While there, I also ran into the owners of two fantastic businesses, Equinox on Broadway and Cosmicafe on Montrose. Cosmicafe is coming up on their 1st anniversary. Stay tuned for more details.

Charlie at Charmers was in stitches when I told him how I encountered a certain lady stripper who left a bad taste. As she was giving me a lap dance, she swung her tits across my face, getting mineral oil all over my glasses. I thought I had cataracts or something. I leaned over to my friend John and whispered in his ear, “I’ve got hooker grease all over my glasses!” Speaking of Charmers, remember I’ll only turn 30 once. And it will be atˆCharmers October 29. Bring a gift. I like gifts.

[Editor’s note: Same goes for my upcoming 37th.]

kirk@windycitytimes.com