Horns of Plenty, Part 1
Kristen Bjorn
Starring Carlos Montenegro and Max Exe
Pubert: Can you believe it is Thanksgiving already?
Groeper: I’m ready for my turkey to get stuffed.
P: This cover is as Klassy as porn gets.
G: Look at those amber waves of grain.
Carlos and Marlus take a walk in the country wearing muscle sleeveless, unbuttoned flannels.
P: Wow, just out there in the open he unzips his fly.
G: They’re speaking Spanish, they must be in Spain.
P: Carlos is from Argentina.
G: Marlus has big veins on his stomach from exercising.
P: These two don’t wear underwear under those jeans.
G: I luv how they strut over to a bench by a woodpile only wearing cowboy boots.
P: That is the 69 of the year!
G: I think I will go shave my pubes like them now.
P: It’s never too late to manscape!
G: I think he just started speaking French while cumming. “Oui!”
P: And there’s lots of French kissing.
Three studs find a hay bale to climb on.
G: One of them has a bad red dye job in his hair.
P: Flies are all over these guys.
G: That bale looks a little shaky with him balancing on it in boots.
P: This video could be called Muchos Cuernos with all this talk in Español.
G: These men just explore these historical homes and have sex in them.
P: Kristen caused controversy by filming in Guatemala like that.
Three more turkeys spot each other from a window.
G: It is like Laugh-In with them popping their heads out the windows like that.
P: Everyone has a checkered shirt in this flick.
G: There is a lot of slapping when these three pilgrims get together.
Scenes one and two cum together as the five stars cross paths and walk to some nearby ruins for a rendezvous.
P: They didn’t even say hello.
G: Talk about a hookup…
P: Looks like they are bringing the party indoors.
G: I don’t think the Plymouth rock-like scenery was conducive to fucking.
P: Yeah, that indoor park bench looks much more comfortable.
G: Bjorn can shoot a five-way like no other director.
P: There are almost too many people. Someone always gets the short end of the stick!
Brazilians Nicos and Renato ride into town on horseback.
G: The Brazilians are cumming, the Brazilians are coming!
P: I think the phrase is “The British are coming.”
G: Their straw hats are corny.
P: Kristen has been using that gimmick since his early days of filming porn.
G: Robert is part of a Brazilian double sausage penetration.
P: On top of an Indian saddle blanket no less.
G: Wait, doesn’t he know its bad luck to put a hat on a bed?
P: I’m betting he hasn’t watched the movie Drugstore Cowboy in Brazil.
David and Alex get down to business right away in a country cottage.
G: That is a weird tattoo on his pelvis.
P: It is a whale?
G: Or a paisley?
P: We could play this game all day.
G: Not much plot in this porn.
P: With eight scenes, this franchise doesn’t even need the part two they sent me.
G: There are plenty of horns to go around in this movie!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Groeper: Thumbs up the butt.
Happy Thanksgiving! For more Bjorn visit www.kristenbjorn.com.