Got your feathers all a-ruffle because you found out your favorite chicken shack openly supports your oppression? Don’t lay an egg! Just summon that American can-do spirit and open you own queer-supportive fast food joint. Might we humbly suggest the following names? We’ll take your silence as a yes.
Top-eye’s
KFC M4M
Twink-fil-A
Pizza Butt
L.G.B.Thursday’s
Dom Seeking Subway
Lube Malnati’s
Panda Express Yourself
Bareback Steakhouse
Old Country, But Gay
Jizzno’s
Tighty Whitey Castle
Jack In the Pants
Twinkberry
Jimmy’s Johnson
Buffalo (Boys Gone) Wild Wings
PorDildo’s
Planet Hollywood Beach
Kenny Rogers Fire Island Roasters
In-and-Out-and-In-and-Out Burger
Rain Forest Preserve Cafe
I’m Not Big On Going to Church’s Chicken
Hard Cock Cafe
Wendy’s A Dyke
Blimpy Chasers
Wings Top
Not-so-little Caesar’s
Benihoohah
Culver’s (which sounds pretty vaginal already)
List compiled as the result of a furious pun-off on the page of one of Nightspots’ Facebook likers who prefers to remain nameless. Some were submitted by editor Kirk Williamson, so it’s not 100% a rip-off. Also, said Facebook fan suggested we run this, thus further absolving us of any accusations of e-theft.