“Being gay is not a choice, but being a Texas Republican is!”—Jon Stewart’s quip after reporting that Rick Perry compared being gay to being an alcoholic.
As you probably know, Hillary Clinton is in the midst of her book tour. And she better tour hard because that book ain’t selling so well—something that doesn’t surprise me since she already wrote one book about the good stuff (and that one wasn’t very good, either). Who should turn up at the book signing in Los Angeles but Chris Colfer. There is a series of photos with the Glee star in line to get an autographed copy. If these photos are sequential, it seems to me that Hillary actually didn’t recognize Chris when he was standing right in front of her—or perhaps she didn’t look up while she was signing (and not personalizing) the book. It looks like the assistant said something like, “Excuse me, Hill, but that’s the gay guy from Glee!” Suddenly, Clinton looks up and her face registers shock/surprise/bewilderment—pick one when you see the photo on BillyMasters.com.
Time for a quick updated “Fayewatch.” When last we caught up with Miss Dunaway, she had lost the rights to direct and star in a film version of Terrance McNally’s Master Class, and was trying to find someone to finance it for her. Well, it’s too late now. Reportedly, another company snatched the rights away from her and signed Meryl Streep to play the legendary Maria Callas. And Streep’s got a real director: Mike Nichols. Right now, they may be asking: “Who’s afraid of Faye Dunaway?” But wait till she gets their phone numbers.
It was recently brought to my attention that I neglected to acknowledge my 10th wedding anniversary. Oh, yes, your beloved bachelor Billy has enjoyed a decade of marital bliss … kinda. The date: June 1, 2004. The place: The Abbey in West Hollywood. It was a mass gay wedding—a symbolic ceremony since gay marriage wasn’t legal in California at the time. Margaret Cho was presiding. WeHo Mayor John Duran was officiating. By my side was gay-porn legend and bosom buddy Kurt Young—Duran’s boyfriend. We’re standing there amidst the other couples. Then someone gives us champagne. And cake. And a gift bag! Jay Leno congratulates us. As far as I’m concerned, we’re married. Happy anniversary, doll.
On a sadder note (yes, sadder than my fake and fraudulent marriage), I must acknowledge the passing of a gay-porn star who was also kinda linked with me romantically. Days before the opening of my play Hollywood Uncovered, the person playing my leading man disappeared. As luck would have it, Cameron Fox was in town and gamely agreed to take on the role. With one day’s notice, no one expected much from his stage debut—especially with script in hand. But I knew he’d deliver. He was charming, personable, sweet, kind, had a gorgeous body and a nine-inch penis. Whenever he screwed up or got tongue-tied (as it were), I’d turn to the audience, smile, unzip his pants and all would be forgiven. He made a potentially disastrous situation not only bearable, but fun. I ran into him recently and knew things weren’t going well. Still, I was sad when I heard he passed away last week. If only more people knew that the person he was inside was even more beautiful than what they saw.
Shifting gears, we turn to our “Ask Billy” question. Jay in Sacramento asks: “I just saw Jersey Boys and wondered about the gay producer. Is that part true? And who was the actor playing him? He was so hot. Is he gay?”
So many questions. But the first question that should really be asked is: Who in God’s name let Clint make this movie? I don’t think I’ve been so embarrassed and angry about such amateurish and trite filmmaking in my life. But, as Faye would say, let’s not even go there. The character you are referring to is Bob Crewe, who was indeed gay—well, mostly gay. (He identifies himself as bisexual.) What is kinda glossed over in the film is that he wasn’t just the producer—he wrote the lyrics to most of those hits. In fact, “Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You” was written as he watched a post-coital young man sleeping in his bed. So it’s a gay love song. But you didn’t ask about that.
The role was played by the dashing Mike Doyle. That name sounded familiar to me, so I immediately checked out the Billy Masters Archives, and what did I find? A choice item from 2008 where I answered a question from Roger in Toledo (I hope he’s still reading this column) about the handsome hunk he saw in Paul Rudnick’s play The New Century, opposite Linda Lavin. That was in fact the same Mike Doyle who walked across the stage—well, bounced across the stage—completely naked. Well, not completely naked. He was wearing a cock ring—I believe this was the first time a cock ring was officially used in a Broadway production. You most certainly should check him out on BillyMasters.com.
As to the second part of your question, Mike is openly gay. He was, for a while, the spousal equivalent of actor Matt McGrath, who most notably helmed the national tour of Cabaret. They were good friends with another gay couple—Broadway performer and choreographer Denis Jones and the lovely Andrew Rannells. Nothing wrong with that. Two gay couples, hanging out together. Until Matt got a job out of town. Then Denis and Andrew kept Mike company. Sometimes, it was just Andrew. And, bing, bang, boom—a new couple is formed. Mike Doyle and Andrew Rannells have been together for over a year and everyone seems to be happy—at least everyone they’re talking to!
When I’m relating the gay equivalent of Debbie Reynolds, Eddie Fisher, Elizabeth Taylor and Mike Todd, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Well, there is a difference—nobody went down in a plane crash (although I’m sure more than a few people went down). For all your gossip needs—past, present, and future—be sure to check out www.BillyMasters.com. And if you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I announce my next insignificant other. Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.