Rebecca and Paul met on eHarmony. Both were teachers in DuPage County, and after years of dating, they married in October 2013. Like so many couples, they spent time at the beginning of their life together updating the practical things—bank accounts, retirement paperwork, life insurance.

Some paperwork was simple. Other paperwork required more attention. On one pension form, Paul checked the wrong box. The pension fund promptly sent him a new form to fill out. He set it aside, meaning to return to it. Life has a way of distracting us—work, birthdays, date nights, volunteer commitments. That one small piece of paper could wait.

In 2019, Paul died suddenly. His will left everything to Rebecca, and most accounts transferred without trouble. But when Rebecca filed for spousal survivor benefits from the pension, the fund notified the listed beneficiary. It wasn’t her. Because the form had never been corrected, Paul’s pension still named his father.

The family agreed. Paul would have wanted Rebecca to receive any pension benefits he earned. It should have been a simple fix: His father would sign the form to transfer the benefit. But then came the COVID lockdowns. Paul’s father lived in a nursing home, visitors were restricted, notaries were not allowed inside. What should have been weeks stretched into months, and then years. Forms were misplaced, filled out incorrectly, or delayed by surgeries, rehabilitation stays and the challenges of aging.

Finally, in 2024—five years after Paul’s death—Paul’s father was able to sign before a notary, and Rebecca received her first pension check.

Rebecca’s story is not unique. In fact, I’ve shared before about Daniel, whose husband Ethan never updated a 401(k) beneficiary form after marriage. That mistake opened the door to bitter lawsuits, prejudice and heartbreak during the hardest chapter of Daniel’s life.

Two different families and different circumstances. But the lesson is the same: One unchecked box or one outdated form can unravel into years of unnecessary stress.

This is not a story about malice or neglect. It is a story about how life intervenes—people get busy, people age, the world throws up obstacles we never expect. We cannot control everything, but we can make things easier for the people we love by paying attention to the details—today, not later.

John Kohlhepp is the owner of A Secure Plan, LLC, an End-of-Life Planning and Death AfterCare company. After the death of his mother, John chose a new career path to help people and families making end-of-life plans and completing the paperwork after a loved one dies. Previously, John worked in progressive politics for labor unions, immigrant rights, and marriage equality.