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Billy Masters: Adele, 'Pam & Tommy,' and more
by Billy Masters
2022-01-24

This article shared 1781 times since Mon Jan 24, 2022
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"Yes, it is true—for over a year, we have been trying to film a script called My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3. What is also true, we are not filming; when we get film insurance, we are going to Greece to film."—Nia Vardalos spills the beans on the latest "Wedding" movie. Apparently, it's very difficult for independent films to get insurance during a pandemic. Who knew?

The Go-Go's were scheduled to ring in the new year at The Venetian in Las Vegas. Since I was with family in Boston for the holidays, I passed. I wasn't the only one. Due to a COVID issue within their organization, The Go-Go's rescheduled their tour dates … to mid-February. As luck would have it, I was going to be in Vegas to celebrate my birthday (2/13), and had already planned to see pals Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis Jr. at The Orleans (2/12). Seeing The Go-Go's on 2/11 seemed a no-brainer. Tickets were secured, flights were booked and, just like that, The Go-Go's canceled again. (McCoo and Davis are still a go). I was surprised to see many loyal Go-Go's fans express outrage on social media—with some even demanding that the band reimburse them for travel expenses.

Why am I telling this long story? Not only to remind you to shop early for Billy's birthday gift, but because Adele is going through a similar situation. She, too, was scheduled to begin a Vegas residency. And not just any residency—one that would pay her $500K PER NIGHT! And then, poof, canceled. And not just canceled—but canceled with just 24 hours' notice. Needless to say, the fans are not happy. Apparently, people were flying in from around the globe. And some are demanding Adele reimburse them for hotels and plane tickets. Been there, done that. Why did she cancel? "I'm so sorry, but my show ain't ready," she said in a video.

Congrats to Adam Rippon, who married fiance Jussi-Pekka Kajaala on New Year's Eve. We're told that the only guest to attend the small, private ceremony was the couple's dog, Tony.

For weeks, tabloids noted something different in the relationship between Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra. Most predicted a split. How wrong they were—the couple just announced they had their first child via surrogate.

Prince Harry and Megan Markle have been at odds for the past few weeks. Rumor has it, Megan desperately wants to attend the Oscars—and as nouveau Californians, they've already been invited. But Harry isn't so keen on it—primarily because he doesn't want to run into Kristen Stewart, who played his mother in Spencer. How do I say this delicately? I don't think he has much to worry about! Should they opt to skip the festivities, it's not like they have to stay home. I'm told Elton John has already invited Harry and Meg to his 30th annual viewing party which also raises money for his AIDS Foundation. Something tells me Diana would approve.

So far, 2022 has been hazardous to people's health. Celebrities are dropping like flies. Last week, three more succumbed: Andre Leon Talley, Louie Anderson and Meat Loaf. While a cause of death has not been released for Mr. Loaf, he was seriously ill with COVID a week ago. While we don't know his vax status, he had previously spoken out against Australia's vaccine mandate. When asked about the disease, he said, "If I die, I die."

An interesting story emerged from the set of the Pam & Tommy movie. As you know, the stunning Sebastian Stan is playing rocker Tommy Lee. Surprisingly, his primary relationship is not with Pamela Anderson—it's with his penis. Having seen the real Tommy's penis (which you can see on BillyMasters.com), I get it. In the script, Tommy spends an inordinate amount of time talking to his dick. Not only that, but the penis talks back—and if there's one thing I hate, it's a chatty cock! Stan said, "By the end of the scene, I treated it like it was an intimate buddy conversation that one might have when they're falling in love"—which really puts every relationship Sebastian has had into question. The filmmakers have designed an animatronic penis—kinda like Disney's Hall of Presidents … if Lincoln's penis moved (and talked). It requires four "puppeteers" to operate—much like my penis!

Our "Ask Billy" question comes from Frank on Cape Cod: "I know you're watching And Just Like That. Did you see when Charlotte was about to give Harry a blow job? Who knew he had such a big cock!"

Oh, I saw it. But, I have some bad news for you—the penis Evan Handler hauled out of his trousers was not his own. Yes, I know this is terrible news for you, and I wish there were a way to, err, soften the blow. But, there you have it—it was a prosthetic penis. Still, all is not lost. Did you watch the whole episode? Because a few minutes later, Carrie's downstairs neighbor's boyfriend walked out into the hallway wearing only a towel—which conveniently dropped to show his penis. His real penis! The actor's name is Corey Saucier, and while we don't expect to see more of him on "AJLT," you can see every inch of him on BillyMasters.com .

When there's a new Mr. Big in town, it's definitely time to end yet another column. We're going to try this again. I'm going to attempt to leave Boston for a warmer climate—perhaps Fort Lauderdale first, but eventually Los Angeles. But no matter where I am, I make sure to update BillyMasters.com—the site that's partial to all things south of the border. If you need me, drop a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com, and I promise to get back to you before McCoo and Davis add "Rolling in the Deep" to their Vegas show for the Adele fans! So, until next time, remember: One man's filth is another man's bible.


This article shared 1781 times since Mon Jan 24, 2022
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