by shayna plaut
As I was calling up my editor for new stories I realized: I write for a queer paper and I don’t know what that means. Things had gotten just a bit too confusing. I remember my friend Cliffy, a very open—minded straight man with a propensity for friendships with those of us who are, hall we say, a bit queer, telling me that when he left for Europe three years ago there was no such thing as transgendered (my spell check still doesn’t recognize it) and when he came back after a year he had to learn a whole new language in order to not be offensive.
I thought back to my own story and the fact that I never had to “come out” per say because there were no questions about my sexuality—so you’re dating a girl, OK, so you’re dating a boy, OK— can I have a cigarette? The only problems I had ever faced is with the people so often stuck on labels and categorizations that they were offended by my belief in malleable sexuality. And yet, I’d hear the stories about the murders, the rapes, the ostracizing by families, schools, communities in general—some told in past by my mom’s 50—something femme lesbian best friend reminiscing in our liberal southern California environment, some from the Ohio born—and—raised kids that went to my university and reveled in the fact that “dyke” and “fag” were just adjectives, and then there were the hushed tales from my male lovers that still can not tell their parents.
What was this overarching “queer community” this “queer identity” that we have marches, papers and clubs about? Why does it make my heart swell with both pride and confusion? Has the experience of the young queer shifted so radically, or become so diversified, that conversations with the “older” or as Jennifer a 27—year—old lesbian stated the, “pre—Nintendo generation,” have become obsolete tails to be told over Thanksgiving dinner?
I decided to investigate this generational phenomenon of different definitions for what is presumed to be the same identity. After a few phone calls I went to Fuel, a young queer hang—out. I asked anyone who came up to me to define the word “queer,” the word “sexuality” and the differences they saw in various generations.
Nicole, a 22—year—old “queer, I hate the term lesbian” explained her position to me: “I didn’t fall into a category that was something that I liked. Those categories came from the queer community and I came out into that community but once the terminology hit me and I had to fit into these categories it scared me—’I see you as more butch but you walk femme’ shit. I had always considered myself Nicole and I don’t even identify myself as a lesbian! My issue is that they fall into stereotypes and stereotypes exist for a reason and that’s ’cause we make them.”
“I like to bind my tits and I wear a packy and I’m a girl and people want to say that I want to be a man,” began Rachel, an 18—year—old “queer girl” and Nicole’s foster child. “Both the older and the younger queer community [tell me this]. But I have to say, older people are more supportive.” When asked to identify what “queer” is, she explained, “You can look at it in different ways, it’s who you are in the inside. People like to have stereotypes—but the older queers have fought different battles and they tend to be more open minded because they’ve gone through a lot of shit to make it easier for us.”
Rachel’s sentiment was not unusual, of the 15 young people and three “older” (defined as older than 25 years old) people, almost everyone agreed that the “pre—Nintendo generation” had paved the ways for a more open interpretation of sexuality. “There was nothing like this (Fuel) when I was younger. You may be gay and all, but you didn’t talk about it, nobody talked about it except the hairdressers and the church choir. Just like straight people though, sexuality matures with age, with experience. These young people are in the extremes, but they’ll mature,” stated Fred, a 55—year—old gay man. Fred’s sentiments were shared by many including Chris, an 18—year—old gay high school senior: “A lot of people that I’m around are just like, ‘I want to fuck you and then I want to fuck you and then you’ but that’s just immature sexuality. People today have seen a lot of things but I think the older people laid out the groundwork to allow us to see and experience ourselves.”
Rachel agreed: “Queer is not just who you have sex with, it’s an attitude.”
When asked to explain what the term “queer” meant to him, one man paused, puzzled. “I don’t like the term queer I just prefer to be specific and I don’t want to leave anyone out,” he said.. Andy, a 16—year—old gay man, jumped in on the conversation with his definition, “the whole queer image is younger, fresher, attractive, it’s the opposite of the gay community which is very elitist and kind of exclusive.”
When trying to explain the youth aspect of the queer movement and how it separates itself from the older community, Nicole used herself as an example: “I think the youth community is breaking a lot of barriers—they’re falling into a lot of roles, butch/ dyke / fag and the explosion of high femme, but it’s breaking down barriers instead of building them. But I had a hard time understanding what transgendered meant, I had a lot of issues when it came to light for me last year, and it shocked me because I thought I was so open—minded. It was the younger queers who tried to explain it to me.”
And yet maybe this is just a position for people who have the comfort to pontificate over syntax. Ken, a 19—year—old gay boy from a “conservative Christian family in Kentucky” did not have the luxury to decide what kind of “queer” he wanted to be—only two people know that he has, shall we say, a propensity for liking people of the same gender. When he told his mother last month, after being in Chicago for only seven weeks, she gulped softly, said OK and then asked him to please not tell his little brother or father.
Sheila, a 29—year—old bisexual musician from Great Britain, placed the situation in a different context: “The ‘queer box’ can become repressive like neofeminism in the 䚌s—by not becoming a circle it becomes hatred of the ‘other’ and that’s just reactionary. I think you find people across the board that can be insulting, older and younger, people can come out into repressive boxes and then there’s a level of fear. It’s still a struggle for people to come out. If you’re 50 it’s likely you’re more open, more secure in your identity but when you’re younger its harder to own your identity.”
RESOURCES
Cafe Pride, Friday nights by Night Ministry, (773) 248?
Family Pride Coalition, (619) 296— 0199
FUEL, fuelyouth@aol.com, (773) 583— 5049
Generation Q, (312) 409— 7091
Harriet Tubman Place/Pathfinders, (773) 626— 1443
Horizons Community Services, North and South Side, (773) 472— 6469
Pride Youth Support Program, (847) 441?
Prism Youth Network, (708) FUN—FIND
Rainbow Families, RainbowFam@aol.com, (773) 388— 1600, x 3313
QYC: Questioning Youth Center of DuPage County, (630) 415— 2053
Room for All, drop—in for G/L/B youth 16— 19 (Naperville), (708) 305— 5170