Well, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty … by all accounts, Janet Jackson’s new album is all about sex and ending a terrible relationship, which sounds just fine and dandy to us. On “Love Scene (Ooh Baby) ” look for Janet to use the “F-word” while indulging in a fantasy about a sexual partner and on “Would You Mind” Janet is, once again, moaning and groaning as if she is getting … well you get the idea. As you know by now, she re-teams with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis for “All for You,” which is reportedly quite danceable even before the re-mixers get their paws on it. Look for a cool reworking of Carly Simon’s “You’re So Vain” as “Son of Gun (I Betcha Think This Song is About You) ” Good stuff, all. Baby, this song—this whole CD—is all about you, you know it is.

In case you have been hiding under a rock: the name of Madonna’s first tour in eight years is the “Drowned World Tour” and will launch in Cologne, Germany June 5. Her first American tour date is July 21 in Philadelphia. Aug. 28, she will be at the United Center here in Chicago. According to online reports quoting Madonna’s spokesperson, “The tour will be the most extravagant stage spectacle of the singer’s illustrious career,” and will reportedly include both new stuff off of Music as well as selections from her earlier albums. Look for Warner Bros. to release re-mastered editions of her first three studio albums on May 29. Madonna, Like a Virgin and True Blue will reportedly each include two rare dance mixes that have not previously been available on compact disc.

In case you care: in other Madonna news, the New York Post is reporting that Miss M has forbidden her friends and associates from talking to Andrew Morton, the biographer behind the best-selling Monica’s Story. In case you care, the paper claims that Morton, who plans to write a new tell-all about “Madge” (Guy’s pet name for his wife), has been “canvassing the Queens neighborhood where Madonna first lived in New York” looking for info. Morton is reportedly “stunned” by the “number of people eager to talk about her.”

That glamorous Electro-pop French duo Air, have announced a 16-date American tour to launch in Dallas June 14. “It will be sort of a mysterious darkness on stage,” said Air’s Jean-Benoit Dunckel during a recent interview published online. “We really want to have a huge volume, with a precise mix. It will be for people who like to smoke some spliffs.” Air’s second studio album, 10,000 Hz. Legend will be released May 29. Air blows into Chicago at the Vic Theatre June 30.

More Moby news: the bald one’s hit single “Southside” which features the lovely Gwen Stefani will be showcased in completely different mixes on two new comps: the latest edition of the Club Nation America series as well as on Dave Seaman’s new Renaissance Desire mix disc.

BT, who scored the soundtrack to the weirdly fascinating Sly Stallone vehicle Driven, has a previously unreleased mix of “Shame” that will appear on the popular Plastic series, Plastic Volume 5.

Robbie Williams has filled in for the late vocalist Freddie Mercury to record with Queen, reports the Wall of Sound. The singer’s spokesperson says the union is only temporary and there are no plans to release the single in the U.S. So, what is it? “We are the Champions,” of course, which will appear on the soundtrack for A Knight’s Tale, a new film starring Heath Ledger.

Of course none of you use Ecstasy, so I don’t even know why we’re pointing this out, but we will anyway: According to the Reuter’s wire service last week, regular use of “X” may impair memory according to researchers in Canada. Big surprise, right? In a study of 15 people aged 17-31, who used the drug (MDMA) an average of 2.4 times a month (we’re not sure we get the .4 thing, either) scores on memory tests “either stayed the same or worsened” over the course of a year. Other findings include: Ecstasy users “experienced a substantial decline in their so-called retrospective memory, as measured by the ability to recall a story after a short delay.” I don’t know why we’re telling you this, as odds are you won’t remember it in the first place!

Ecstasy part deux: According to USA Today, the Air Force, Army and Navy have demonstrated that the use of “X” has “skyrocketed” among its troops, as much as 12 times the amount it was two years ago. The military said it expects to “unveil a test that can better detect ecstasy” next year. Come to think of it, the Army’s new recruitment slogan, “An Army of One” is beginning to make more sense.