Gag Me

Dear Joe,

My partner and I live in an apartment building that has an empty room next to the laundry room that our landlord will let us use. We want to mount a sling and turn it into our little playroom but we don’t want people thinking all the banging going on is heavy laundry going through the washer or dryer and coming down to check on it and spoiling our fun.

Any tips on some cheap sound-proofing for our little Sybaris.

— Loud ‘n Proud

Dear Loud ‘n Proud,

Well, it has finally happened. The leather community has sought me out to solve their very special decorating problems. I have never been asked to design an S&M room, but your question has inspired me. In addition to the usual accouterments of the sling (which could double as a side chair), the rubber sheets, and the chest of toys, I’m thinking hankie-coded toss pillows, dildo base lamps and tit-clamp drapery holdbacks.

Unfortunately these ideas come all too late to take advantage of the IML Leather Market, where I could have sold these items at my own booth. There may have been a thriving business there with the S&M (shop and model) crowd! I now realize that I have missed a golden shower of opportunities.

Getting back to the question, your efforts to muffle the noise of unbridled sex don’t sound very ‘loud ‘n proud’ to me. Who cares what people hear? Maybe someone will come down and join you! Then again, if your sex play sounds like laundry bangin’ around, maybe the two of you had better play by yourselves.

My first bit of noise-muffling advice would be to purchase a gag. I saw many of these in all varieties of shapes and materials at the Leather Market. As far as the room is concerned, you could cover the walls and ceiling with acoustic tiles. I have no idea of what this would cost. You would have to have your landlord’s permission, but this could be a very unique added feature for the next person who rents the apartment!

Dear Joe,

A recent break-up has forced me into a small studio apartment.

It’s pretty basic with white walls, white mini-blinds and tan carpeting. The kitchen is divided by a counter. After several months of living with just a bed and computer desk, I would like to make it a little more like home. I’ve got a little money to spend, but I don’t want to waste it since I don’t plan on being here for a long time. I’m afraid of making a major mistake and could use a little direction.

— Cindy

Dear Cindy,

You don’t say how much ‘a little money’ is, so I’m going to offer a general plan. The two most important necessities are a place to sit and a place to sleep. The best investment for this is a sofa bed. Prices will vary, but buy the best that you can afford. The sofa bed will last for many years and can be moved to your next living space. It can also be used for guests.

Tables are the next most important need. A coffeetable and/or end tables for the sofa should be fairly simple in design to make your living space as open as possible. If they can have glass tops, this is even better.

If you do not have room for a small dining table and two chairs, a couple of simple stools at the kitchen counter will work nicely for you and a guest. The window could be softened and given a more finished look by hanging narrow curtain panels at either end on a decorative rod (these do not have to be able to be closed). Use a neutral color scheme to help expand the space. This could mean using all tan, a blend of tan and white, or a soft palette of tan, sage and white. And speaking of expanding space, adding a mirror can help tremendously.

All of these items can be easily moved and worked into your next living space. The two key points are to keep it simple and don’t invest in anything that you can’t take with you.

Good luck!

Please email your questions to jos.riceinteriors@att.net. In the subject box, fill in ‘WCT Design.’

Joseph Rice is an interior designer who offers full decorating services. With 21 years of experience, he specializes in designing drapery treatments for ‘hard to treat’ windows. You can reach him at Joseph Rice Interiors, Inc. (773) 271-2361; or jos.riceinteriors@att.net