with Pubert and Dicksel
‘Porn Experts’ Pubert and Dicksel promise to be punctual, picky, and probing with all their reviews. Thumbs up the butt (good review) or finger down the throat (gag me dude) – you be the judge. Grab your popcorn, your lube and enjoy the ride!
Chi Chi LaRue’s Hardware
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
P: Front cover displays hot men in leather pants.
D: I love the tattoos!
P: Back cover showcases a cowboy showing us his backyard.
D: Definitely would buy this from the cover alone.
First scene begins with clients in an office where they go to get their fantasies fulfilled using a Sex O’ Tron. Each of the three clients enters a room where the computer creates a scenario for them.
Client #1
P: His name is Mr. Wilson (played by Johnny Hazzard)? He changes from a nerd to a leather boi!
D: He gets to play with leather daddy (played by Joshua Adams). Lick that tattoo!
P & D: Ewww!
D: He just spit in his mouth!
P: And now he is spitting on his leather pants. Spit n’ shine!
D: Is this what safe sex has come to? Sex through leather pants!
P: Wait, the pants are coming off now. The pink rubber is so manly.
D: Mr. Wilson is getting plowed by Dennis the Menace!
P: He is jabbing his balls with his penis. What do you call that? The Ball Buster?!?
D: No, it is called the Head in the Sack!
Client #2
P: This customer’s (played by Chad Thomas) dream is to be behind bars as an inmate.
D: He looks like Willy Wonka and here comes the Chocolate Factory!
P: In walks cell guard (played by Randy Gunz). That is some dark dick!
D: Is that Martha Stewart’s old cell? Nice lime green quilt.
Client #3
P: This guy (Theo Blake) has a fantasy to be a cowboy. Must be a Mexican ranch. Love the Latin cowboy played by Daniel Duarte.
D: It’s Bo and Luke Duke on a haystack!
P: Straw on the dick, not tasty for a blowjob. The blonde actor is missing part of his ear—gross. Piercing it really keeps the attention away… ha ha.
D: Maybe he had an accident in the General Lee.
P: The last scene is the nasty secretary from the office using the Sex O’ Tron computer to whip up a three way. So what did you think, Dicksel?
D: I liked the music, it was a little Knots Landing theme song in some places, though.
P: The camera angles are great!
D: Yeah, they know how to shoot from far away to see everything.
P: I hate to see all close-ups; gimme the full fantasy. This was a first rate production.
D: Yeah, they had me from cover to cover.
To order this go the web site www.Channel1Releasing .com
Pubert: Thumb up the Butt
Dicksel: Thumb up the butt
Heated About Hardware? E-mail Pubert@windycitytimes.com and we can discuss!