Desperate Husbands

from All Worlds Video

To try something different, I’ve enlisted my friend Yvona Humpalot to get a lesbian’s take on gay porn. Pubert and Yvona promise to keep you PH balanced. Grab your popcorn, your dildo and enjoy the ride!

Judging a Porn by Its Cover

Pubert: I like the cover with guys in the garden of Eden. All Worlds mailed me an apple with the video, great marketing.

Yvona: The guys aren’t too young looking. I like that. Back cover is good also. I haven’t watched gay porn since the ’70s!

The first scene covers the neighborhood, obviously a big take on Desperate Housewives.

P: Too much plot, lots of talking.

Y: Is that a drag queen? Why can’t they hire women to play the women?

P: The sound is bad, sounds like it was a filmed in a tunnel.

One guy finds a note stating, ‘ I know who you are and I am going to tell’

P: The plot thickens. Someone better get naked! There they go, swimming with the handyman.

Y: Is that the gay flag tattooed on his back?

P: No, it’s the Italian flag.

Y: Why isn’t he hardening?

P: ‘Hardening?’

Y: I prefer the boom-chicka-boom music of yesteryear. Using a condom is good.

P: It has been awhile since you’ve watched gay porn!

Y: I’m surprised my dogs aren’t humping watching this movie.

P: Oh Humpalot… give me some more popcorn.

Next is a shower scene between two characters

P: It’s turned into a Pantene commercial, which is hotter than this video.

Y: Yeah, what’s with the nosy drag queen neighbor?

P: That’s a hot gardener. Who will he share his hose with?

Y: Muff diving is a little more of a challenge than this. Don’t they ever cuddle?

P: The music is just like in the show on TV.

Y: I like the socks, my feet are always cold in bed.

Spoiler alert: ends with Mrs. Herbert, the drag queen, having a heart attack

P: Even the bloopers on the DVD are bad.

Y: I hated the acting. The slow-mo was cheesy.

P: All Worlds must have spent all their budget on the rights for the show and none of the acting; a desperate attempt at making a movie.

Pubert: Finger down the throat

Humpalot: Finger down the throat