Farm Animal Night Lights
Encourage wonder, whimsy and (if you’re anything like us at
Nightspots) years upon years of nightmares involving rabid
stampeding cattle in the night with these festive farm
buddies. You can choose either pig or cow.
Why, it’s like an evening at Manhandler!
$90, www.uncommongoods.com
girls’ microscope
Perhaps the most offensive (ergo—hilarious) item we ran across. Teach your daughter that she too can succed in the hustle-bustle world of scientific research, while reinforcing strict, crippling gender roles. Anything he can do, she can do pinker. Marie Curie, eat your heart out! $14.95, Cook Brothers, 1740 N. Kostner Ave., Chicago, IL
BABY JESUS CAKE
What better way to celebrate the birth of our holy savior than to slice into his chest cavity and feast on his spongy flesh with a nice cup of International Flavors? Also available: The Coors Light cake and the Military Tank cake. Mmmm, sacri-licious! $0.65 to $3 per serving, Connie’s Creations, Harker Heights, TX, (254) 698-4100, www.conniescakes.com. Please call or email to order cakes (preferably Monday or Tuesday)