Pubert from the North side enlists Lemony Lickit from the South side to get opinions that aren’t so black and white. P and L won’t leave you on the down low, and will get you out the house to rent the video!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Pubert: It has cross-stitch on the cover… just like my momma taught me.
Lickit: I’m only 24. I have never seen a fisting video.
P: Oh no, I’ve corrupted another one!
Our hole-in-one begins with a campfire scene.
L: This is so creepy with no one talking and just the fire popping.
P: It’s a serious business. They’re pulling out the special fisting lube and he wears a glove to not cut the other one with his nails.
L: That’s ‘handy.’
P: Look at his face. He’s in another world.
L: From the camera angle, it looks like he is on fire! He should shove that log up his butt.
P: This is getting messy.
L: It’s like Crisco and fried chicken. He keeps drinking MGD, which makes me thirsty… .
P: That’s product placement for you.
Second scene is where the plot gets full of holes. A Spanish guitar plays in the kitchen.
L: Finally a regular sex scene, thank you.
P: Nothing like the real thing.
L: Uh oh, now here comes a fist in the night.
P: No Michael Jackson glove for him.
L: There are different people showing up in that kitchen. I am never going to look at an asshole the same again.
There’s a fire in the hole with Carlos Morales in the next scene.
P: My buddy Carlos! I interviewed him once.
L: Did you sleep with him?
P: Are you kidding? Do you know where that penis has been?
L: I wonder what being fisted feels like.
P: That’s how those guys got started. You must be next!
The hole story ends in a romantic setting with running water and pillows.
P: Fisted over a fountain… how classic.
L: Nice Spanish background… maybe fisting originated in Spain?
P: Wow, he’s getting crazy with the wrist.
L: Do you need a license to fist?
P: Yeah, it’s like a license to drive.
P: So, how would you rate this video? Would you go out and rent it?
L: If you are not into fisting, stay home.
Pubert: Fist up the butt
Lickit: Thumb down the throat
To get your fill of fisting, find out how to order this video at www.ragingstallion.com
Feel my column is getting too greasy? E-mail me at pubert@windycitytimes.com