with
randy
pubert
Full Load
by Fatale Media
Are you down with O and P? Porn critics Randy Pubert and Olympia Du-cock-kiss give perspectives from the gay and lesbian point of view that could make a steel magnolia blush. Grab your popcorn, your dildo and enjoy the ride!
Judging a Porn By Its Cover
Olympia: Is that the inside of a mail truck? I find mailwomen erotic.
Pubert: Looks like a small budget from the cover.
O: It makes my vagina cry. Finally a video made by women for women!
After hitting play, we realize that this is not set on a mail truck, but an abandoned school bus in a field. Three girls dressed like boys begin our first scene. A dominatrix enters to show them who wears the pants in this ragtag family.
P: I like the music. It’s relaxing.
O: Yeah, folkie-lesbian-like music—sounds like Ani or Indigo Girls.
P: Oops, there’s dirt on the lens. I just saw someone’s hand holding the camera. This is guerrilla lesbian porn making!
O: I love the dirty squatters and how she acknowledges the camera.
P: Very natural, lots of dialogue.
O: We girls like to talk. This is all about processing.
P: Where is the dominatrix’s accent from? She’s whipping their dildos— ouch!
O: This is different than straight porn; women here demand what they want! ‘ Take my sock off!’
P: The one on the left keeps breaking character.
O: I’ve seen here at Chix Mix events.
P: They’re using condoms on the dildo. Why?
O: It’s part of the realism.
In the scene titled The Attic, we get Billy and Bug playing with fire.
O: Look at her hair. Is that Manic Panic? You can tell I’m a girl since I look at the hair first.
P: You would think they would clean their room first. Hot angle though.
O: Is that a fish bobber on her neck? They’re having fun. I want to join in!
P: Is she putting her whole foot in her?
O: No, just in the folds. I wonder if this is scripted; it seems so natural.
P: Eww, she just hawked a loogie in her vagina.
O: I don’t like that. This is not a baseball game!
Last scene gets the main title Full Load. We have a couple getting down and dirty in the basement while doing the laundry.
P: Is that a boy?
O: No, she’s a tranny, female to male. I know her.
P: Someone’s getting their curtains cleaned!
O: I bet she uses Downy on those pubes. They look really soft.
P: I think the Tide is on the way.
O: Good thing she brought the vibrator downstairs to do the wash.
P: Did she just pee?
O: No, that’s just female ejaculation.
P: I’m getting educated. This is like a documentary for me.
O: I’m giving the video two fingers up and you know what that means.
P: The movie was made in Chicago so we need to support videos like this.
O: Yeah, great angles, acting and the dominatrix is a star.
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt
Olympia: Thumbs up the snatch
To get your machine washed, order Full Load at www.fatalemedia.com
Are you P.O.-ed? E-mail pubert at pubert@windycitytimes.com