by Belami
Pubert: Cheetah motif here.
Ghost: Roarrrr!
P: Pink for the twink on the back cover.
G: Is this Survivor? It says part of the ‘reality series.’
P: They have a fun opening: outdoor scenes with the guys.
G: Clearly produced by someone who has never been to Africa.
P: They get to stay in a nice resort. Are they at the zoo or in Africa?
G: I think a zoo in Africa.
P: That’s a howler monkey.
G: Looks like a Joan Crawford monkey with that hair!
P: Oh, that is graphic; a monkey just squashed a frog to death.
Shower Scene inside their hotel.
P: After a hard day of touring they need to get clean.
G: Where’s the English translator. I don’t know what they are saying.
P: Belami boys have the same look.
G: Well, they are somewhat interchangeable.
P: Tab A goes into slot B.
G: These Czech bois can’t suck dick.
P: I know, he is all on the head.
G: If he was my boyfriend I would dump him over that.
P: I guess that is the deal breaker for you, Flamehead.
G: The other guy is better.
P: He has done that before.
G: I respect the fact that he is not totally shaved.
P: The shower area is big. Nice slab to get fucked on.
G: There he blows! He had some distance.
Waveboarding is the next excursion for the Belami Boys.
P: Do people want to see this?
G: Well, it adds realism to it. They happen to just have sex later.
P: Oh, by accident. Maybe to relieve stress on vacation, I get it.
G: It just goes on too long. Should be a bonus feature on the DVD.
After the swim, two cute guys read dirty books in their hotel room.
P: The camera guy is cute. Why doesn’t he join in?
G: What are they reading? Maybe it is the gay Kama Sutra.
P: They are trying out different positions from the book.
G: So original, I am sure they never tried the sitting on top position, hehe.
P: He’s so veiny.
G: I know, it’s freaking me out.
P: He’s from Transyl-vein-ia. I just reminded myself of Beavis and Butthead watching porn together and telling bad jokes.
G: What’s on his chest?
P: He’s peeling from all the sun in Africa. Enough with the book already!
G: This is taking me out of the movie, too artificial.
Bungee jumping is our next endeavor. Then back to the showers.
P: These kids can’t get clean enough!
G: Is that a third person?
P: No, he is just coming in to borrow the shampoo.
G: I need to give these guys lessons on sucking.
P: You could start a Belami school. Could teach subjects like swordfighting.
G: English class would be good for these guys also.
P: He’s talking to the camera guy the whole time in his language.
G: It doesn’t seem real for a ‘reality series.’
P: I wonder if ‘sproket’ means ‘fuck it?!?’
G: Nice facials.
P: Followed by more outdoor scenes. Look it’s a meerkat. Do you watch Meerkat Manor on Animal Planet?
G: No. So what did you think of the video?
P: Well, they have flawless bodies.
G: Yup, for fans of the genre, this is a good one.
P: It was too artificial, just an okay video.
G: This felt staged and not in a good way.
P: Belami needs a trip back to Africa. Third time was not a charm.
Pubert: Thumbs down the monkey throat.
Ghost: Thumbs down the throat.
If you are fan of Johan and friends go to belamionline.com
If you are a fan of Pubert go windycitytimes.com and type in ‘Pubert’ to read past articles.