Pubert: More summer videos!
Ghost: I would not pick this up for the front cover, but for the back I would.
P: Is that Justin from the first American Idol on the front? Whatever happened to him?
G: I dunno.
P: Listen to the Jimmy Buffet music.
G: That’s a cherry on the menu. How sweet.
Two guys chillin’ in an apartment packing for their vacation.
G: He needs a translator.
P: That’s not English? I thought he was saying, ‘What shirt should I wear?’
G: Maybe he said, ‘Can I make this into a sarong?’
P: Tim Gunn, where are you when we need you?
The Slavic boys go on vacation in Brazil. While they are there, they have a modeling shoot in the countryside.
P: That dye job is bad.
G: He should go to ChicagoMale salon.
P: What about my Haircuttery?
G: No comment.
P: The pants are coming off.
G: They’re acting silly.
P: They have nice assets.
Two models go inside and start sucking while two others watch through a secret window.
P: Bad suck job.
G: Baby sucking… maybe they have tiny mouths.
P: Blondie must have gotten the job with his dick.
G: They are doing the push me/pull you.
P: Is that what that handjob is called?
G: Nice nuts.
P: Bad trim job, though. It is growing in patchy.
G: Nice angle, once the fucking begins.
P: Uh huh.
G: He is going to town on him.
P: That was quick. Listen to the birds chirping after he cums.
Focus on the two outside of the shed.
G: Their chests are sooo shaved.
P: He’s hanging from the chains while the other guy sucks him.
G: That’s hot… Paris Hilton hot.
P: He’s like a monkey.
G: Like a charm on a bracelet.
P: I want a keychain like that.
G: Tongue fluttering is not sexy.
P: He just put a hat on before he fucked him!
G: That’s hilarious.
P: Hold on to the hat.
G: He’s like a gymnast with those chains.
Now the video takes a tour around Brazil. A couple meet on the beach and go back to a hotel for fun.
P: Are they outside the hotel on a couch?
G: This is a resort of some kind.
P: These guys are having fun.
G: Sucking dick on a swing, so cute.
P: Don’t get sand in your crack.
G: It will be scratchy.
P: This video makes me want to try out some new moves and travel.
Last scene is with our dreaded cover boy.
G: That middle guy is gross, bad skin and bad hair.
P: That kinky hair has to go.
G: Glenn Close hair from Fatal Attraction!
P: He’s a champ to bounce on both those cocks.
G: Boil a bunny, I don’t care!
P: Don’t judge a porn by this cover.
G: But we vote no on Troy Allen.
P: He’s a spoiled pineapple in this Piña Colada!
Pubert: Thumbs up the butt.
Ghost: Thumbs up the butt.
To drink a Pina Colada our way, go to www.belamionline.com.
If you want to check out our other summer reviews go to windycitytimes.com and type in ‘pubert.’