A man walks into a tattoo parlor looking for a sleeve.

Pubert: Nice way to begin our video about tattoos.

Groeper: He’s dirty. Looks like he needs a bath.

P: Is that Ant the comedienne?

G: Well, this doesn’t look like Celebrity Fit Club.

P: He has so many tattoos that it looks like chest hair.

G: He’s stumbling over his lines.

P: Keep working with the script, buddy.

G: Raging Stallion is not my favorite studio.

P: I like them because their videos are aggressive, a take charge kind of company …

G: Speaking of aggressive, his jock is ripped.

P: Better wash it in Woolite!

Next scene has someone getting a fire tattoo on his penis.

P: I have a low threshold for pain.

G: No sanitary conditions here. Is this real or are they faking it?

P: That’s one for the experts. He looks like he is definitely suffering. I would be squirming.

G: I would rather watch a guy get his penis pierced than get a tattoo.

P: Well, this is hypnotizing in a way.

G: Everyone has a fetish.

A man walks into a bar to buy a drink.

G: That bartender lives in Chicago.

P: They are just staring at each other.

G: It’s called cruising.

P: Fucked on a barstool by the bartender, what a story that would be.

G: That hasn’t happened to you yet?

P: Well, there’s still a few more weeks in 2007!

G: And a New Year’s resolution for next year if not.

P: This is a long scene.

G: Yeah, an hour and half and just the third sex scene.

P: They really take their time.

Sleeping Beary wakes up from his slumber with help from a friend.

G: This is a little creepy.

P: Yeah, leave the hairy guy alone!

G: Did he just wake up one morning and decide to get two cougar tattoos on his ass?

P: This video needs an editor.

G: It goes on and on like a leather video.

P: He is rubbing his bald head on his ass. Is that a turn on for people?

G: Could be hot.

P: I luv Cory Koons’ striped socks in the next scene.

G: They are totally back in style!

P: He missed the trend the first time around.

G: Cory is sweating too much. Must be the drugs.

P: You have it out for Cory.

G: This feels like a 20-hour video.

P: In reality it’s 2 hours and 40 minutes.

G: How long was Titanic? Cause this video is sinking.

P: It’s too tedious. And there is a bonus video? This is too long in the first place!

G: Ink Storm is only for die hard tattoo fans.

Pubert: Tattooed thumb down the throat.

Groeper: Thumb down the throat.

Need more tattoos in your porn? Go to www.ragingstallion.com

To read all about past articles From the Booth go to windycitytimes.com