“He told me right before they said, ‘Action’…’Dillon, just so you know, I might get an erection.’ But I guess I took that as a compliment.”—Dillon Casey reveals what John Barrowman told him before filming a sex scene for Torchwood. Apparently the emphasis is on “wood.”
This week, I’m writing you from my lovely palazzo in Verona, which is next door to the penthouse Leonardo DiCaprio just bought—right upstairs from the Gelateria. I might have to double up on my daily gelato runs until I bump into him. Sure, I’ll be big as a house by the time I see him, but chances are I’ll still be skinnier than him!
In case any of you are heading to Italy this summer, let me give you three bits of advice: 1) Always buy the Hungarian salami. I know you’ll want to buy meats from Genoa or Milan, but you’ll thank me. 2) Don’t wear a tank top into a church. I learned this lesson the hard way when I inspired certain members of the clergy to consider reinstating stoning. (Yeah, as if those priests weren’t looking.) 3) Don’t express any interest in the Amanda Knox case. If asked directly, you’re better off just saying, “Amanda who?”
We have more on the revolving door of cast mates over at Glee. As you’ll recall, it was recently announced that Chord Overstreet would not be returning; that Darren Criss and Harry Shum Jr. would become series regulars; and that Lea Michele, Chris Colfer and Cory Monteith would be leaving when they graduate at the end of next season. This type of long-range planning is usually meant to gauge public reaction—and the public was not happy, particularly when Colfer said that leaving “was not my choice” and that he learned the news via Ryan Murphy’s tweet. This likely prompted what’s being termed as “clarification.” At Comic-Con, executive producer Brad Falchuk said, “They are seniors, so they’re graduating. But just because they’re graduating doesn’t mean they’re leaving the show.”
Addressing Overstreet’s short-lived career, he said, “For reasons Chord is aware of, we decided not to make him a regular”—which sounds a lot like the way Joan Crawford disinherited Christina and Christopher Crawford, “For reasons that are well known to them.” Also, forget the rumors about Overstreet returning for a few guest spots to tie up his storyline. Falchuk says, “We invited him back. He declined. We were disappointed.” Chord was asked to appear in some episodes for the first half of the season with the possibility of eventually becoming a regular. Allegedly, he felt this was a demotion and declined—for reasons well known to them.
With Criss’ increasing presence on Glee, you’d think he’d be pretty busy. His schedule may soon become even busier. He’s currently in negotiations to take over the lead in How To Succeed In Business on Broadway. Daniel Radcliffe is slated to stay with the musical until the end of the year. Producers hope that Criss will take on the role Jan. 3-22, which is when he’ll be on a break from Glee. It’s an ironic bit of casting, as Criss first sprung to attention by playing Harry in a series of online videos called “A Very Potter Musical.”
Remember all of that hoopla about Hairspray star Nikki Blonsky working in a shoe store? And then she said she wasn’t working there, but only dropped in to help a friend? And then the owner of the store said Blonsky was most certainly working there and was on the schedule? Well, now Nikki’s got a gig kinda more appropriate. On July 31, she hosted a “Hairspray” sing-along screening of the flick at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles. Maybe her career IS dead!
For our “Ask Billy” question, we now turn to Rodney in London: “I don’t know if you watch Torchwood but I’m pissed off. The third episode was to include a sex scene between [John] Barrowman and a sexy bartender. But the BBC censored it! Did you get it in the States? Will you post it? I love you more than I love Pippa Middleton!”
I don’t believe I’ve ever received a higher compliment—and it should go without saying that I’d look fabulous in that backless dress! Be that as it may, let’s turn to Mr. Barrowman’s bare backside, which predictably turns up in this video. The scene in question shows Captain Jack picking up a bartender (a very hunky Canadian actor named Dillon Casey). We see the beginnings of a sexual encounter—with Jack insisting on using protection. See? It’s almost like a PSA! Then he “coaxes” the willing bartender to perform oral sex on him. We then see the twosome in bed, in flagrante delicto, as we’d say here in Italy if this were a couple thousand years ago. The BBC decided that the scene was too sexually charged to run just past the family hour so they cut it—because the last thing they’d want to do is spread a message of safe, responsible sex. So instead, they’ll leave it up to BillyMasters.com to fulfill the dreams of every Brit (and most Yanks).
Speaking of Barrowman, he was involved in one of the highpoints of Comic-Con. During the panel discussion for Torchwood, he sang “Happy Birthday” to a mega-fan dressed as Captain Jack. But that wasn’t all—after the song, he gave the bloke a full-on kiss! Not only did the guy lose his mind, but the gals in the hall went nuts cheering. It’s so easy to get a rise out of a spinster. (The rest of you can also watch the video on BillyMasters.com.)
When I’m more responsible than the BBC, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. Fortuitously, just this week I got a message on Facebook which said (in part): “Thanks for being a great light for the community!” My God—if I am a light for any community, then we’re all in big trouble. I’m just here to entertain, enlighten, and perhaps titillate. And that’s exactly what you’ll find on www.BillyMasters.com. And if you have any questions that you’d like me to shed some light upon, simply send a note to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before to you before Nikki gets another gig in a cemetery! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.