From All Worlds Platinum Collection
Starring Luca and Liam Rosso
Pubert: Chi Chi LaRue is coming to town and bringing her turntables and entourage!
Groeper: And you better be naughty, not nice!
P: First Brother Fucker now twins, I want to see what’s in store this time.
G: The cover is erotic without being too graphic.
A hot stud is having dreams in his bed at night.
P: He has some bad taste in bed sheets.
G: He’s having wet dreams of two men on vacation.
P: Maybe he’s been working too hard.
G: Hard is right!
P: I want to be in that beach house.
G: Because of the hot men?
P: No, because the weather has been so unpredictable in Chicago.
G: That one model has too much mousse in his hair.
P: It is shellacked!
G: Notice they have the perfect skin tone though.
P: Why are the two twins watching from outside on the patio?
G: I guess they are doubling as voyeurs.
P: This video is getting too artsy.
G: There was a flash of black balloons. I don’t get the symbolism.
Two buddies play in their underwear inside a mansion.
P: Those jocks must be sponsored by Andrew Christian.
G: The home decorations look expensive and tasteful.
P: I doubt those twinks could afford that place.
G: I have never seen a tan pool table before. Aren’t they usually green?
P: I guess it hides the shit stains when they bang on it.
G: Eww. Someone is chalking up their pool stick already.
P: They didn’t even break the balls after racking them up.
G: Well, someone got their balls broken all right.
A bathroom scene begins with two friends on the corner of a bathtub.
P: More creepy flashes of twins and black balloons before the scene begins.
G: I hope this is explained at the end.
P: That can’t be comfortable, fornicating on Formica.
G: He gave him a towel for cushioning but it still has to be bad on the knees.
P: That is almost the same bathroom tiling that I have.
G: That cum job on the face was a little uninspired.
Now we return to the bedroom where the twins pop in on our dreamweaver.
P: Someone is getting lucky.
G: [Sings like Debbie Gibson] “Only in my dreams, as real as it may seem.”
P: She didn’t last too long on Celebrity Apprentice.
G: Wait, there’s one brother on the lips and one on the hips!
P: His balls look a little wrinkly.
G: That is impossible since he is so young.
P: It was the way they were getting rubbed.
G: Now the brothers are on top of each other.
P: He’s licking their holes like one big ice cream cone!
G: It was a little awkward getting the penis in the hole that time.
P: It’s a twin sandwich.
G: But only with meat in between from Sleeping Beauty. There was no twin-on-twin action.
P: Fans of that have to visit Bel Ami’s new film and they don’t even use condoms together.
G: Keeping it in the family tree, I guess.
P: The balloons still remain a mystery.
G: As far as this one goes, a little too vanilla for me.
P: I wanted to see more Spitting and little less Image.
Pubert: Finger down the throat.
Groeper: Finger down the throat.
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Chi Chi LaRue parties at Hydrate, 3458 N. Halsted St., May 24 after 10 pm with a $5 cover. Look for more info at www.hydratechicago.com.