From All Worlds Platinum Collection

Starring Luca and Liam Rosso

Pubert: Chi Chi LaRue is coming to town and bringing her turntables and entourage!

Groeper: And you better be naughty, not nice!

P: First Brother Fucker now twins, I want to see what’s in store this time.

G: The cover is erotic without being too graphic.

A hot stud is having dreams in his bed at night.

P: He has some bad taste in bed sheets.

G: He’s having wet dreams of two men on vacation.

P: Maybe he’s been working too hard.

G: Hard is right!

P: I want to be in that beach house.

G: Because of the hot men?

P: No, because the weather has been so unpredictable in Chicago.

G: That one model has too much mousse in his hair.

P: It is shellacked!

G: Notice they have the perfect skin tone though.

P: Why are the two twins watching from outside on the patio?

G: I guess they are doubling as voyeurs.

P: This video is getting too artsy.

G: There was a flash of black balloons. I don’t get the symbolism.

Two buddies play in their underwear inside a mansion.

P: Those jocks must be sponsored by Andrew Christian.

G: The home decorations look expensive and tasteful.

P: I doubt those twinks could afford that place.

G: I have never seen a tan pool table before. Aren’t they usually green?

P: I guess it hides the shit stains when they bang on it.

G: Eww. Someone is chalking up their pool stick already.

P: They didn’t even break the balls after racking them up.

G: Well, someone got their balls broken all right.

A bathroom scene begins with two friends on the corner of a bathtub.

P: More creepy flashes of twins and black balloons before the scene begins.

G: I hope this is explained at the end.

P: That can’t be comfortable, fornicating on Formica.

G: He gave him a towel for cushioning but it still has to be bad on the knees.

P: That is almost the same bathroom tiling that I have.

G: That cum job on the face was a little uninspired.

Now we return to the bedroom where the twins pop in on our dreamweaver.

P: Someone is getting lucky.

G: [Sings like Debbie Gibson] “Only in my dreams, as real as it may seem.”

P: She didn’t last too long on Celebrity Apprentice.

G: Wait, there’s one brother on the lips and one on the hips!

P: His balls look a little wrinkly.

G: That is impossible since he is so young.

P: It was the way they were getting rubbed.

G: Now the brothers are on top of each other.

P: He’s licking their holes like one big ice cream cone!

G: It was a little awkward getting the penis in the hole that time.

P: It’s a twin sandwich.

G: But only with meat in between from Sleeping Beauty. There was no twin-on-twin action.

P: Fans of that have to visit Bel Ami’s new film and they don’t even use condoms together.

G: Keeping it in the family tree, I guess.

P: The balloons still remain a mystery.

G: As far as this one goes, a little too vanilla for me.

P: I wanted to see more Spitting and little less Image.

Pubert: Finger down the throat.

Groeper: Finger down the throat.

Double your pleasure, double your fun with porn by wwwc1r.com.

Chi Chi LaRue parties at Hydrate, 3458 N. Halsted St., May 24 after 10 pm with a $5 cover. Look for more info at www.hydratechicago.com.