However, talking with the multifaceted performer was almost a Zen-like experience. Tackling issues ranging from marriage equality to Jessica Simpson to yoga to her upcoming Chicago show, she was candid, calm—and refreshingly low-key.
Windy City Times: I know I’m a little late to the party, but congratulations on the Oscar.
Mo’Nique: I appreciate that, Andrew—and it’s never too late. [Both laugh.]
WCT: I know how some Oscar winners talk about doors opening for them after they win. Was that the case with you?
Mo’Nique: The best way I can answer that is to say that there’s a difference [between] white America winning an Oscar and Black America winning an Oscar. And it wasn’t that doors didn’t open—the calls happened, the scripts came in—but the offers had me [saying], “Didn’t I win this Oscar?”
I’ve been in this business for 20 years. So by the grace of the universe, I’ve had a very successful journey, and I’m very grateful for that. But did my life change? When I win any award, I’m very grateful. But when I won the Oscar, it wasn’t the same as when Reese Witherspoon won. That’s the most honest way I can say that.
WCT: I was going through the news just before you called—but it seemed like every other article was about Jessica Simpson and her post-baby body. What’s the deal with all the scrutiny, do you think?
Mo’Nique: Unfortunately, we live in a society that says “judgement.” We live in a society where my gay brothers and sisters are fighting for the right to love each other. If we still have to fight for the right to love, do you think people are not going to talk what you look like? I say to Jessica, “Baby, be happy. Live life to the fullest. Enjoy your man, your baby, your curves—just be happy.”
We’re going to put it out to the universe that she’ll be happy.
WCT: When I told some of my friends that I was going to interview you, they said to thank you for your support of marriage equality.
Mo’Nique: Mmmm. See, I have an Uncle Tina and I had an Aunt Donald. As a little girl, I watched the mistreatment of these people inside my own family, and I didn’t understand that. As a child, you don’t know what homosexuality is. I know that my Uncle Tina had a beard. I thought, “OK, that’s a little different, but that’s it.” I made a decision that I would never treat anybody unfairly for who they were made to be. When the community thanks me for support, I thank the community for the support you’ve given me.
I really do believe that inside of me is a white gay man and a Black gay man. I was going to the [club Paradise] Garage in New York when I was 16. It was the club of life; you’d get there at 12 o’clock and leave at about 6. I saw some of the most beautiful people—and it was a gay club. They all treated me with so much love. They saw this little chubby girl walking in and they were like, “Alright, you little chubby diva!” I just fell in love with that!
And you all tell me how to dress, honey. I know when it’s hittin’ and when it’s missin’. My children are like, “You can’t wear that to the parade.”
WCT: For some reason, you brought me to a conversation I had earlier this morning with a young man whose father threw him out of the house because he came out as bisexual and transgender. It just saddened me so much.
I do understand needing to process things. I don’t get throwing out someone, though.
Mo’Nique: Were you sad for him or for his father?
WCT: Interesting question. My heart went out to the son.
Mo’Nique: See, I view it differently. Did you congratulate the son?
WCT: I certainly did. I congratulated him on having the courage to come out.
Mo’Nique: Yes! Oftentimes, we get caught up in the word “family,” and we get caught up in “That’s your mother” or “That’s your father.” We don’t understand that they’re just ignorant as to who we’re made to be. When you have those individuals, the universe may be saying to you, “You need to let them go before you can move forward.” If it happens to be [a family member], guess what? Sometimes, those things happen.
But you can look in mirror and say, “I’m grateful that the universe made me who I am and, to show my appreciation, I will not have a pity party and I will not be sad for someone’s opinion and will keep going forward. Why would I want someone in my life who would offend or hurt me just because of the way I was meant to be?” Baby, I’m gonna find a silver lining!
My husband said to me one day, “I want you to count how many times you say the word ‘I.'”
WCT: Hmmm….
Mo’Nique: That’s what I said: “Hmmm.” [Interviewer laughs.] He said, “That’s what you want, and sometimes it’s not about what you want. Be grateful about how things [are]; nothing happens by chance.”
WCT: Switching gears, I was looking at your website [www.moniqueworldwide.com] and you were doing yoga—at six in the morning, no less. What is it about yoga that appeals to you?
Mo’Nique: Yoga, for me, is very relaxing. It allows you to meditate, and the little girl inside me says, “We can do this.” It gives you a different type of appreciation. When I do yoga, I’m not thinking about “stuff,” foolishness or negativity. You focus on positivity.
Get out of your head—and don’t judge it. At first, my fat ass was all over the place.
WCT: So was mine. [Mo’Nique laughs.] Maybe I’ll try it again.
Mo’Nique: Just think about love, a waterfall—whatever your dream is. Just focus on yourself; it’s about you and your space, even if you’re in a room full of people.
I also do Pilates and work with a personal trainer five days a week. You’ll live longer. Now, if you get hit by a bus, ain’t shit we can do about that.
WCT: Control what you can control.
Mo’Nique: There you go.
WCT: Let’s talk about your upcoming show. What can people expect?
Mo’Nique: It’s been a minute; I have not been on stage in over a year. I have a lot to say. [Laughs] I always tell people, “If you really want to get to know me, come to a stand-up show.” It’s very honest. I’m not a joke-teller; I just say what’s happening in my life and what my take is on things.
And it’s Mother’s Day—such a precious day. People ask me, “How can you perform on Mother’s Day? Aren’t you a mother, too?” But every day for me is Mother’s Day. I have these 6-year-old twins who are just little miracles. So I’m going to say, “Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and the mother—.” [Both laugh.]
By the way, I do perform weddings.
WCT: What? I did not know that.
Mo’Nique: Yes! I got ordained by the universe, so I can marry folks. I do weddings all around the country. I did a Gay Pride Week [recently]; baby, I think I had about 10 ceremonies.
WCT: With Mother’s Day coming, though, what do you hope your four children have learned or will learn about life?
Mo’Nique: [Pauses.] That’s a great question, Andrew. I hope my children learn to have no judgement and to know that they can have anything they want, or be anything they want to be with no shame, guilt or embarrassment.
One of my babies likes to put on dresses. You know what? We buy him the prettiest dresses we can find. We don’t him to feel ashamed or embarrassed about who he is. It’s funny because last night he said, “My girlfriend might not like me.” My husband said, “That’s because your dresses may be prettier than hers.” [Interviewer laughs.]
I want my babies to know that they can be who they are—with no apologies.
The “Mo’Nique and Friends: Mother’s Day Comedy Show” will take place Sunday, May 13, at The Chicago Theatre, 175 N. State St., at 7 p.m. (Rodney Perry and Tone-X will open.) Tickets are $62-$72; see www.thechicagotheatre.com and www.Ticketmaster.com.
Also, read about Mo’Nique www.MoniqueWorldwide.com and follow her on Twitter (@MoWorldwide).