Southern Illinois gay man Jared Kearney was diagnosed with Stage IV melanoma cancer Nov. 1, 2025. He was recently taken off all his cancer medications because his body can no longer tolerate them. Kearney’s doctors at Northwestern Memorial Hospital are looking for new medications for him.
Kearney graduated from Marion High School in Marion, Illinois where he was the quarterback for their football team and played other school sports. While he was in college he found that he liked to do construction so he left school to work for a now-defunct concrete construction company. Kearney found a better job with Tru-Bilt and he stayed with that company for 25 years where he held a number of roles, most recently as the concrete crew foreman.
His cancer diagnosis last year forced him to leave that job and this left him uninsured. He is also unable to afford ACA coverage. Due to his illness, he was recently approved for Social Security disability benefits. These additional funds will help him and his husband Dean Atkinson throughout this journey.
Kearney (age 49) and Atkinson (age 54) have been together for 32 years. They met at Kearney’s high school senior prom. Atkinson attended because a girl he was dating at Marion asked him to be her date. Kearney went with a fellow girl classmate.
Both young men knew right away at that prom they were meant to be together and this began their lifelong romantic relationship with each other. Atkinson adopted their now 21-year-old son Dustin four years ago after Dustin’s father signed his rights away to him.
Dustin (who still has a relationship with his mother and also has a two-year-old son) considers Kearney his step-father.
“It is really difficult to put into words what this has been like for me,” said Atkinson. “We basically grew up together. When you’ve spent that much of your life with someone, you don’t really think of your life as ‘mine’ and ‘his’ anymore. It’s just ours. Every plan I’ve ever made for my future has Jared in it. Watching someone you love go through something like this changes you.
“There are days when I feel like I’m doing pretty well. I concentrate on what needs to be done, getting Jared where he needs to be, talking to doctors, making arrangements, keeping everyone updated, taking care of things at home and trying to keep some sense of normalcy in our lives. I stay busy because I have to. But underneath all of that, I’m scared.”
Atkinson’s fears include what Kearney’s next scan will show; when his medications cause problems; when a treatment doesn’t work the way it should; and when the phone rings telling them they have to return to Chicago.
But he is the most scared of “losing my best friend and the person I’ve spent almost my entire adult life with. That’s probably the hardest part to say out loud. You don’t prepare yourself for suddenly having conversations about cancer treatments, hospitals and whether a treatment is going to give you more time with the person you love.”
Fixing things is what Atkinson is good at, and the fact that he can’t erase Kearney’s cancer has been very hard for him because he doesn’t like the helplessness with which he struggles every day. Indeed, Atkinson is also experiencing emotional and physical exhaustion as he constantly waits for the next piece of information about Kearney’s progress. He lives somewhere between fear and hope all the time, he said.
Kearney’s biggest fear is dying and leaving Atkinson alone.
“Things that once seemed important suddenly don’t seem very important at all,” said Atkinson. “Right now, a good day is a day when Jared feels good, eating a meal together, laughing about something stupid, sitting at home with the dog, spending time with our son and grandson or simply hearing a doctor give us a little bit of hope. All I want is for us to have more ordinary days as we grow old together and for him to have more time with our son and grandson.”
Kearney’s family, friends and community have rallied around him with love, prayers and financial support. Atkinson’s brother Michael has set up a GoFundMe to help them throughout this process. As of this publication, they have raised just over $8,000 of the $40,000 necessary to pay for Kearney’s medical bills, temporary Chicago housing and travel expenses.
